Limping Marathon Runner

Just did a 3.6km run instead of 5km as it is already late. As soon as I came back home at 2330hrs, I rushed to change into my jogging gear (because its getting late). Sensing that my quadriceps, calfs and other related muscle groups are stretched and warmed up, I sped off on my 3.6km route. Dear avid joggers, Limping Marathon Runner Man - Muggs has a point to stress.... always check that you have securely fasten the string that hold your skimpy looking jogging shorts. You can forget to fasten your shoes laces....its okay. You can always stop to tie them up. You can NEVER stop and fasten the string of your shorts in public.... No, no, no... it wouldn't seem appropriate. It would look like an obscence act from as far as 10 metres.... I would get a round-house kick in the groin, if I'm spotted doing that within a radius of 5 metres. Hence, I proceeded to jog since I can't do anything about the string. With every 5 times that my right foot striking the pavement, I yanked my shorts up. Otherwise, I would make the headline on today's (since its past midnight) papers. "Midnight Flasher Spotted in XXX Neighborhood". Of couse, occasional onlookers on buses would throw puzzling glances at me, trying to figure out if I have gold bars stuffed in my pockets since my shorts keep slipping lower. I ended my 3.6km run and I had to skip my chin-ups too. Imagine my shorts greeting my ankles if I were working out at the chin up bar. Another headline would read, "Bold Midnight Flasher Strikes Twice Within An Hour".

Now, averaging 60 times that my right foot strikes the floor, it would equate to 100 metres and if I were to tug my shorts once for every 5 times that my right foot strikes the ground:
Number of times I yank my shorts upwards for 100 metres:
60/5 = 12 times.

Number of tmes I yank my shorts upwards for a Marathon distance of 42.195km:
12/100*42195 = 5063.4 times ~ round off 5063 times.

Hey, who knows.... it might be a good lottery number....That is provided I can survive
60/100*42195 = 25317 times that my shorts brushing against each of my inner thigh, giving me abrasions.

Need to catch some sleep now....start mumbling nonsensical gibberish.