Limping Marathon Runner

Bad english... This name reminds me of two things. One, an 80's band (if they were from 80's anyway). Two, really... just plain simple bad english, literally.

Two accounts on bad english....
Case 1: Ever wondered why people stand on the right side of the escalator at all times? Signs are up everywhere tell commuters to keep left if standing. The right "lane" of escalators are meant for people who wants to walk or overtake. Our locals have actually contributed much to the travel industry during "reported" economy "gloomy" times. Who knows.... these people might be touring places of interest, buying out every items that has a sale tag on it. I can't help but wonder have our locals actually observe the citizens' (of the country they are touring) behaviour? Japan for example, most people are very social conscious. Probably these people are confused about the signs that we have. "Keep left, if stationary". Maybe they have too many problems to worry about. Perhaps bo chup (simply not interested in social gracefulness).
Commuter: *Mumbling to oneself* "Your left or my left? Left on ascending or descending escalator?"
Conclusion: Everyone has something on their mind. Or put up signs with more specific instructions in simple comprehensible steps. Example:
Step1: Step onto escalator, going up or down does not matter.
Step2: For adults, raise left hand to waist level. For kids, raise left hand overhead.
Step3: Keep moving left till left hand touches something rubbery.
Step4: Wait till ride on escalator to end. Step off.
*Extracted from Dummy's Guide to Using Escalators* - written by a pissed engineer who happens to documents instructions and networking setups as part of his multi-function role, where even a non-IT personnel can understand. A.k.a. Muggs.

Case 2: During lunch hour, after my meal, I headed over to a "One and only one" fruit juice store. Looking at a list of healthy beverages that I can select from, I made up my mind. Orange juice... healthy, plenty of Vitamin C. An orange a day, keeps "ha-choos" away. Smiling at some 40 or 50 something lady, I said
Muggs: "Orange juice, please."
Lady: "Or leng joo? Okay"
*Muggs was staring at the lady as she reaches out for a peeled orange, before she pops one into the juicer, I let out a sign of relieve*
Lady: "To fitty*
*Muggs performs a lightning speed of 300Mb/sec seek time on the menu*
Muggs: "Ah.... two fifty...Here's five."
Conclusion: We all have our bad hair days..... here's something for a change. A bad mouth day. No, I'm not laughing at this lady's pronunciation. As a matter of fact, at times, we might shoot off sentences like "Orange juice, please" as quick as we say "Shit". Now... "Orange juice, please" might sound like, "All rain jude, peace". Take a breathe, slow down what you want to say. Speak with clarity. I trip over my own words, entagle my tongue in a "fisherman's knot" too, when I execute the 300Mb/sec seek time as "speak time".